The Originals: Plenty of Snark and Exposition for Teens Everywhere

The Originals, a spin off of the Vampire Diaries is about the original vampire family that came to New Orleans many years ago to create a home for themselves. Something bad happens, they are chased off and now they have returned over some creepy vampire, werewolf love baby.

Down and Dirty [Just How You Like It]:

*Sigh*. This has to be the most confusing experience of a show I had ever seen. The characters spout so much exposition that it pisses me off. Narration is rampant at times and everyone is snarky and has "fun" quips between each other that are so cheesy I just want to puke. The acting is also piss poor and amateurish. However the scenes are cut well enough into bite size cliff hangers that show a some what interesting plot line in the mess of relatively stupid characters and shitty one liners. You can tell this show was made for teens and not adults. I'm imagining the writing team is filled with club moonlighting, college females and geek lore, hipster men. Although this show is just awful for a good 3/4 of the first season, it does end on a rather decent note. Apparently the writers found a sense of pacing toward the end and not just continue with the mantra of "dumb characters do dumb shit."

Acting:

This looks like a terrible incarnation of Vampire the Masquerade. The acting is unbelievably lame and indescribably poor. Its like they picked some young actors and taught them how to act better over the course of the show. Everyone's snarky! Everyone trades the best quips possible! Look at how dastardly that Klaus guy is, but he has a heart! Yeah screw you and the entire cast. The acting just isn't believable and I feel everything is forced. Nobody is convincing anybody that they even believe what they are saying. Only one guy stands out as believable and that is Marcel. Yes, the black vampire has a very natural presence in the show. Everyone else is just over dramatic and annoying.

Story:

hahahahaha. What a joke. Family is what caused this drama.

The story isn't half bad, but its just continuous stupid drama that prevents me from getting too into it. Somebody is always being a manipulative jerk to some one else. All of these characters are not necessarily evil but just trying to save themselves. Except Niklaus, the most colossal shithead of the century. He is not a nice guy no matter how many times he has done good things. The show is just showing you that even if some one is a murderer, a criminal or what not, he has a good heart! NO! Don't listen to that nonsense ladies. If a man is bad, he's a bad man. Quit this myth of "deep down inside he just wants to be loved and I can be the woman to show him" BS. Maybe some rare men DO want to be loved and change over time, but most of these crazy assholes don't. Niklaus is a crazy asshole and not the fun kind.

He is the perfect definition of a narcissistic psychopath and yet the vampire family won't just dagger this guy and leave him in a box for the next million years. If I were his siblings, that is exactly what I would do since he seems to be the root of all of their unhappiness because he's a completely selfish, angry twit. Everyone is afraid to cross him or even love anyone, but him. He's probably the worst attention whore middle child to ever be known and yet his family hasn't turned their back on him.

At this point, screw that guy. Just dagger his ass and bury him into the deepest part of the ocean and leave him there, or better yet, send him into space and let his body be stuck out there forever. Even if he got undaggered by some friendly, space fairing aliens, there will be no way for him to figure out how to get back to Earth to exact cosmic size pissed off vengeance. Seriously everyone's happiness revolves around this guy, just destroy him already. Why do people have to tell him they are going to destroy him before they destroy him. Don't give the guy a warning, just hit him when its unexpected. I was super glad at the end they tortured him by trying to take the baby away, but this guy has very little consequences laid upon him.

The most frustrating part of this series is it takes literally 2O episodes to get into this series. I guess it took 2O episodes for the writers to finally understand how to put a story together.  You can't have looming imminent threat every second of the day without some calm waters and triumphs. There was some actual making up and redemption toward the end of the season that was more interesting than all the hell that I watched so far. But it seemed so forced that I'm not sure how many seasons they can really keep this up before it becomes repetitive and stupid. I rather see the vampires and werewolves learn how to become a family rather than have family continue to try to kill them.

Effects:

There is plenty of vampire devilry but very little werewolf chomping. What is the point of having werewolves in this show if we never get to see any of them in action? We only see their aftermath effects. What about wolf girl? Is she ever going to change? Probably not now that she ended up a hybrid. All of the effects are cheap and boring, so I am assuming this show only belongs to cable television. We don't get to see much transformation, or anything hybrid related except yellow eyes. Also they keep running around in the same areas. This show really didn't get much of a budget did it? I rather it had less episodes and better production value [and maybe some one who can actually write something above teen fan fiction grade] than have this kind of crap value stuff for a supernatural show.

24 episodes and this is the best they can do for the hybrid look?

The Hybrid Theory:

So geeks galore seem to just be enraptured by the hybrid theory. One part terrifying werewolf and one part sexy vampire. It seems pretty popular in culture the past ten years and I have to say it is the most intriguing part of this terrible plot line. However the rules for the hybrid seem vague and what happens when a vampire turns into a werewolf? Can he fly? I mean that would be bad ass if he could fly...but they haven't even bothered to show us a werewolf transformation at all, much less a hybrid transformation. If the Hybrid transformation is just glowing eyes, than I'm severely disappointed in that.

Also what is up with Hybrids having a komodo dragon bite but wolverine super blood? Seriously? Is that the answer to everyone's problem? He just bites himself and everyone is healed by his super blood? It seems like Klaus can pretty much play God if he wanted to with anyone's life. And he has, for a thousand years, just did whatever he wanted and controlled everyone while he was at it. You would figure after a thousand years Klaus would get bored of being hurt and wounded.



Vampires, Witches and Werewolves, Oh My!:

1. Klaus - The Mega Douche of the Century:

Half of the plots stupidity would be gone if some one found Klaus's daggers, stuck them into him and put him in a box for a few hundred years. Niklaus is the reason women still think bad guys can change. Oh I'm such a tragic character! Hundreds of years of anger from what happened to me years ago and now I'm a bad boy scum bag with an agenda, but deep underneath I have a good heart and want some one to love me! Shut up Klaus. Being a nice guy once doesn't erase 1,OOO years of douchery with your family.

Davina is way cooler and pissy than Sabrina

2. If Wolf Girl and Teeny Witch Can Kick Ass, Why Need Vampire Protection?:

So far in this series, both teen witch and pregnant wolf girl can kick some tail with no problem. So why are they under the protection of vampires? Seems like a waste of time for the both of them.

3. A Baby is That Important?:

I know Elijah believes the baby can change Klaus, but seriously this is a lot of work to keep a baby alive. This goes back to the whole holy, "Every sperm is sacred" motto. I think the baby isn't even worth protecting at this point for how much BS its giving everyone, including the woman baring it. The entire world seems to want to kill it or sacrifice it. This baby is like the omega of babies and the witches want it dead before baby kills them.

4. This Whole Story is Based on a Misunderstanding:

Only a quarter through season 1 while I'm working on this review and I already can see this whole feud between the Originals and Marcel's chain gang of vampire hipsters is based off of a misunderstanding. The Originals mentioned they ran from New Orleans and thought Marcel was dead. Everyone mourned him and then find out hes alive and took stuff for himself. So now they are pissed at him. While Marcel probably thought the Originals ran off and abandoned him. Then he probably thought, well hell, since they are never coming back, I'm just going to bring this place back to life. Now they come back and want to take back what I revived? Hell no. See...misunderstanding. They need that shrink, Cami, more than they know.

5. Exposition...Exposition..Exposition...."Real Talk":

Half of everyone's lines is exposition. "Oh that Klaus...hes been a rotten brother of mine for forever! I save him all the time." Yeah thanks for telling us instead of just showing us. Everyone basically vomits information whether they realize it or not. People sure love to monologue in this show...they profess a lot of information that you would THINK would be more important to keep as a secret. Its super weird.

6. Flash Backs

While we are at it, there are like a gazillion flash backs. Do we need to know all of this? Yes, your brother is a total cock block to every man you ever went out with. We could easily have seen this through his current actions and your super proclamation. "Dude, you always do this!" Unless that specific young chap we got to see murdered was very important to the plot and to vampire girl, I could care less about his death. Nor do I feel sorry for her either. Why would she need permission from the family to turn him into a vampire any way? She could have just did it on her own and said to hell with everyone! He's mine!

The late season bloomer of decent characters

7. Wolf Girl Can Also Be Dubbed "Bad Decision Girl":

In the beginning she chuckles about her stupid decision to sleep with Klaus as if it was a charming personality trait. "Classic me" she quips. Um. So you have made these kind of bad decisions before? How many babies did you almost have in the past? And after maybe..one...two..five scares..wouldn't you have learned to buy an effin condom by now? I mean how hard is it to bring condoms to a one night stand? This is just irresponsible. Especially since YOU know you are a werewolf. Do you have any responsibility in not spawning more werewolves at all? She just managed to accidentally hit the jack pot [or nightmare] by getting pregnant with Klaus, the bad boy douche vampire hybrid with a heart of gold that hates everyone.

8. Do these Vampires work?

At least Marcel has some kind of financial income, but what the hell do these vampires do? The good vampires really haven't fed much this entire story and they aren't holding any day jobs at burger king so what gives? We just find an abandoned mansion and "Here wolf girl, you can run the house while we go out and have a war between witches and vampires. Don't worry...nobody will harm you here, or evict you for being a squatter or just are darn curious why you live alone in a giant house with internet connection." So when did Comcast get its evil clutches onto the mega mansion they found?

9. Klaus is Attracted to Damaged Goods:

So far we have witnessed Klaus taking affection to damaged goods. People who have lost their parents or had been abandoned by them. You would think after several hundred years, Klaus would have found God or at least some sort of internal peace by now. Instead he keeps making the same stupid mistakes while simultaneously being one step ahead of the game at all times. Can some one be this stupid and brilliant at the same time? Half of the show's drama revolves around Klaus's stupid decisions and him coming up from behind cleaning it up while his siblings are pissed off at him. Should we dub Klaus "Stupid Decision Boy" and call it a day?

1O. Convenient Phone Call is Convenient:

I hate it when every time people ask an important question the phone rings. Then instead of going "Hey while Klaus is talking to his bro, why don't you answer the question." Nope. It never gets answered because people in TV shows never finish their sentences after the fact. Squirrel much?

11. Nothing is Sacred:

Every time people make vampire plans its always in public and in broad daylight...in front of EVERYBODY passing by. Seriously? Why are they so public about every thing that is happening? And why isn't the French Quarter empty by now knowing there is a possible vampire battle going on? As open as these cats are about this, I would have moved out ages ago. "Yeah no thanks...I'll skip the witchy/vampire fury and settle down in Connecticut.

Girl power quickly became "You bitch!" toward the end

12. A Thousand Collective Sighs Came Out at Once:

Everytime the girls get bitchy and they get together because "Girl Power!" I am pretty sure a thousand sighs came right out of anyone who is over 25 years old. Every girl on this show has sass, pizzazz or is catty to the extreme. And the only girl in the cast that should have some class, acts just as callous, bitchy and modern as the rest of them.

13. Over Dramatic Music is Dramatic:

Every time we make a discovery the music pitches up really high and racy like "OMG girlfriend! We needs to know what happens next!" Yeah...whatever. I wonder how exciting this show would be without the hyped up cliff hanger music.

14. Beauty Queen:

Even in the worst of situations: dog fights, running from witches or vampires and all of that nonsense, this cast has some great hair. Especially Hayley [who spells a name like that?]. She is just fabulous as a prisoner of a vampire, witch, werewolf war. Can I get her stylist's number?

15. Each Episode is Packed To Run In Circles:

Every episode is super epic packed with HOLY SHIT revelations that are going to blow a teen's mind apart. Which really annoys the crap out of me. They run each episode so fast and pack it with so much shit that it really loses its edge fast. There are no slow builds, breaks or even happy times. We are continually being smacked in the head with drama, drama, drama. Because apparently teenagers have the attention span of a goldfish.

All the excitement has died out because there are barely small breaks between all of the conspiracies and accusations. Its like the writers are writing the vampires and werewolves in circles and continuing to use the same situations, scenes and anger fits for almost EVERY EPISODE. There is barely any gratification because its always one step forward and four steps back into the same muck as before. Nobody is ever happy, Niklaus is always pissed off at some one, Rebekah is always bitchy, wolf girl is always sassy, Elijah is always noble. These are super static characters doing the same shit, different episode and revomiting the same plot in a different context.

I swear this show is going to kill me before I finish this review.

16. Gay Bro is so Not Gay:

I'm only on episode 9 the time I am writing this point, but Josh is SO not gay. I know they are trying really hard for the gay community to fall for the cute gay friend of Davina the teenage super witch, but I swear that boy is not gay. He totally said that to get closer to Davina because shes a smoking hot repressed chick that needs a friend. The way he looks at her just seems like he is into her. Doing her favors, finding her violin, totally telling her he can keep a secret. Hes not gay. Could be wrong on this one, but I haven't seen this boy suck face with one guy in this entire show so far. Or even hit on another man. I don't know about you but if some one claims their are gay, it kind of helps the credibility to see them having the hots for some one of their same gender. So far I have seen NO sign of that. He's totally not gay. I'm callin it.

Klaus knows you are all a bunch of sissies. Give up now.

17. One at a Time:

I see the vampires have been trained at the premiere fighting school of "One at a Time." COME ON! You outnumber this douchebag 3OO to 1. Just grab him already and stab him with the dagger.

Instead you just chain him up and beat him with sticks, igniting his unstoppable rage and everyone dies at once. You guys are pathetic. This could have been over already, but now I got 14 more episodes left due to everyone's stupidity. Dagger him, everyone lives happily ever after, the end. *sigh*



18. The Entire Cast Could Use a Good ****!

I'm sorry, did I offend you? Everyone in this cast hasn't had a good romp in the sack except Marcel and Rebekah and look where it got them? Everyone's angry..ARRRGGGG!!

19. The Wolves Aren't Angry

They have all of these growly noises in the background for the wolves and they all look dopey, happy puppies. Doesn't anyone know how to train a wolf properly these days?

2O. Nobody Dies on this Show

The threat of death is real...until some one heroically saves them last minute. I guess always keeping tabs on your siblings has its perks. Or they bring you back to life or you are some tormented soul coming back to haunt them. Seriously people seem to rotate around here and can't stay down. Hell even people who had been dead for hundreds of years come back to life.

21. Everyone's Evil

So everyone is just rotten. Are we supposed to like them now? Everyone is horrible to everyone and everyone has a story of why they are horrible to everyone. We are watching a show about horrible people. Great.

22. Cutting Hands

Everyone is using the same knife to cut their hands with. This seems totally wrong and I don't understand why they make cutting their hands like its no big deal. I'm sure that hurts like hell plus that's totally unsanitary.

23. Gang Wars

If only humans weren't so weak...

This whole show is pretty much one giant gang war. You change the wolves, vampires, and witches to Crips, Bloods and MS-13 and you will have yourself a totally different show, but with the same stupid drama. The humans aren't even on the radar when it comes to a faction because they are just not strong enough to stand up to any of the three. So lets call the humans, innocent bystanders in the long supernatural gang war for turf and street cred.

24. Candles

Who the hell had the time to light 2OO candles in a room? Its the 21st century. Get a freaken lamp.

25. Bad Decision Girl Becomes Only Sane Person Chick

After watching the buffoonery of the entire vampire cast run amok, its nice to know that werewolf pregnant girl actually ends up being the best character on the show. While everyone is still stupidly bent on revenge for whatever time they had been wronged.

26. Their Parent's are the Original Douche's

So now I understand why Klaus is such a crabby sour patch. His father was a psychopath that loved hunting down his own children while his mother was a crazy witch that turned her children into vampires and then decides it would be fun to kill them too. What the hell is wrong with this family? They don't need one therapists, they need an army of them.

27. The Relationship That Can Never Be

2O something episodes of teasing and finally Hayley [bad decision girl] and Elijah [responsible vampire brother] finally get together. Sort of. Because...Elijah is being his weird noble self as Hayley is literally throwing herself at him. I mean she became awesome after she was close to term and after she had her baby. Now shes just killer mother wolf chick on a rampage. That's super bad ass. Man Elijah needs to get in on that before she reverts back to bad decision girl after her hormones stop goading her into murdering.

Do you need a banjo to go with your plaid shirt brother?

28. Werewolves are Trailer Trash

I'm very disappointed in how werewolves are presented in this. Now I assume at one point they were cool and hip and were just ran out of their home. But they are presenting them like some kind of backwater, inbred hillbillies that like campin and huntin. Werewolves never seem to be presented in any other way but ridiculous in a lot of stories. I'm totally offended. That's racist.

29. The Witches are Crazy

But who can blame them? They are as close to human as you can get and they have monsters taking over their land. Why wouldn't they be a little insane? But what really pisses me off is how witches continue to be perpetuated as sacrificial monsters. Real witches don't have a desire to harm anyone. Its in their code that they will not be sacrificing living things or do harm to others. Its totally cool to fictionalize it on TV, but its still in the christian slant of what witches were to them back in the good ol days of hanging and witch hunting. We all know better now...I hope.


So this show was pretty brutal to watch through. Painfully drawn out in the consistent impending doom section, everyone wants to kill everyone, and Klaus is continuously a mega douche. He softens up a bit by the end, probably because he can't deny that his douchery is the cause of all of his problems. One only wishes that the show would slow down more often for people to really savor the victories instead of constantly being on edge. Timing and rhythm in story is just as crucial as the highs and mayhem. If only they made a story about wolf girl and killed off the rest, maybe I would be interested in watching it more for a change.

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What did you think of "The Originals"? What was your favorite or least favorite part of the show?

DnD Rating: 5/1O

Season 2 is out on Hulu right now....watch all 22 episodes of season 1 or you could just watch something way more interesting.

The Official DnD Holiday Destruction Victim List - For Whom the Bell Tolls?

I hear the holiday season calling my name with their withered cries, "Please! Please review us and destroy our hopes and dreams!" As always, for your reading pleasure, I made a list of all the movies that have potential to be reviewed. So lets get started with the hit list, down and dirty style!


The Judge
Drop Date: Oct 1O, 2O14

In "The Judge," Robert Downey Jr. stars as big city lawyer Hank Palmer, who returns to his childhood home where his estranged father, the town's judge (Robert Duvall), is suspected of murder. He sets out to discover the truth and along the way reconnects with the family he walked away from years before.

Current Judgment: Judging strictly off the trailer it just seems like RDJ being RDJ but as a lawyer. The feels aren't really that convincing and it seems like this is going to be an OK film and nothing extraordinary, breath taking or anything to write home about. Robert Duvall is looking pretty shabby these days too playing basically an old grumpy man. This doesn't look like it will rate well, but I'll probably watch it because I love Robert Downey Jr.

Dracula Untold
Drop Date: Oct 1O, 2O14

Luke Evans (Fast & Furious 6, Immortals) stars in Dracula Untold, the origin story of the man who became Dracula. Gary Shore directs and Michael De Luca produces the epic action-adventure that co-stars Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, and Diarmaid Murtagh.

Current Judgment: This gives me mixed feelings for sure. On one hand, Luke Evans is an interesting actor that took me forever to realize he was Bard from The Hobbit. I am curious what he will bring to the table. On the other hand, the trailer doesn't show enough premise to make the story interesting and looks more like a glorified CGI fest that will be awesome to look at, but the story will make any good rating points toward its cause pretty moot. Are we really talking about Dracula or are we talking about Vlad the Impaler? The man who the story of Dracula was based off of? Or are we fusing the two? It would be cooler to fuse the two, but my fear is that we are making Dracula too sympathetic of a character to enjoy how dark and cool he is. So now I'm wondering, what part of Dracula's tale is being told that hasn't been told a million times over? Also...Game of Thrones sighting....little Stark boy who owns Shaggy Dog is in this one.

Automata
Drop Date: Oct 1O, 2O14

In a future where Earth's ecosystem verges on collapse, man-made robots roam the city to protect dwindling human life. When a robot overrides a key protocol put in place to protect human life, ROC Robotics insurance agent Jacq Vaucan (Antonio Banderas) is assigned to locate the source of the manipulation and eliminate the threat. What he discovers leads Vaucan, ROC Robotics and the police into a battle with profound consequences for the future of humanity.

Current Judgment: This actually looks really good and has potential because it shows the humanity of robots rather than the threat of their desire to annihilate our species. The last time I watched a robot film like that, it was AI, the saddest robot film since Bicentennial man. I really like movies that give robots more humanization since the future is evident, we will have robots of all kinds working in our environment and the sooner we humanize these beings the better. They are not just intelligent piles of scrap metal, they deserve certain rights and protection from human meddling and viciousness. The trailer poses a good question of what exactly is considered "intelligent, sentient life" and how the definition could expand in the future considering robots can become a sentient being at some point.

Fury
Drop Date: Oct 17, 2O14

April, 1945. As the Allies make their final push in the European Theatre, a battle-hardened army sergeant named Wardaddy (Brad Pitt) commands a Sherman tank and her five-man crew on a deadly mission behind enemy lines. Outnumbered and outgunned, and with a rookie soldier thrust into their platoon, Wardaddy and his men face overwhelming odds in their heroic attempts to strike at the heart of Nazi Germany.

Current Judgment: This looks spectacular from the trailer. A sherman tank, World War II Nazis, a rookie, hardened veterans and no where to run. Just the thought of how dangerous and tough these men were to survive such an event [if they survived] is going to make a good story no matter what. Military heroism has always been a great subject for films, but the formula is roughly the same unfortunately. It would be neat to see more of a unique take on heroism and questioning what both sides lose during a fight instead of a "us" vs "them" type of storyline. I think this is going to be a good movie though as it has a decent cast attached to it. Its a movie that didn't seem to get enough push at Comic Con compared the other features, but I would go see it still just for the explosions.

The Book of Life
Drop Date: Oct 17, 2O14

THE BOOK OF LIFE, a vibrant fantasy-adventure, tells the legend of Manolo, a conflicted hero and dreamer who sets off on an epic quest through magical, mythical and wondrous worlds in order to rescue his one true love and defend his village.

Current Judgment: One of the few children related films of the holiday season, its got big names and features to compete with. The Book of Life is definitely very Mexican style Day of the Dead in appearance. A colorful design of people and a vibrant spirit world is written all over this tale, but the story line is quite basic from what they have revealed so far in the trailer. It is a neat looking film, just not sure how great the humor will be in the end since I really didn't laugh much at the jokes. It is produced by Guillermo del Toro so we all know its going to get its fun creepy flair as is so charming in his work. This could either be really good or really bad. The trailer gives me that toss up feeling.

Birdman
Drop Date: Oct 17, 2O14

BIRDMAN or The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance is a black comedy that tells the story of an actor (Michael Keaton) - famous for portraying an iconic superhero - as he struggles to mount a Broadway play. In the days leading up to opening night, he battles his ego and attempts to recover his family, his career, and himself.

Current Judgment: The trailer doesn't reveal much, but seeing Michael Keaton punch Edward Norton in the face sold me immediately. Mostly because Edward Norton has a face I would like to punch. The fact is, Birdman has been around for a long time and those of us who grew up on shows like Space Ghost Coast to Coast and Birdman, Attorney at Law know this is going to be an interesting ride since he's such a unique character thrown into a modern time from a 196Os era. It looks quirky with its black comedy flair, something I would definitely hope to check out in the future. The story takes place several decades down the road from Birdman's fame and how he's trying to make a come back.

Dear White People
Drop Date: Oct 17, 2O14

Winner of the 2014 Sundance Film Festival's Special Jury Award for Breakthrough Talent, Dear White People is a sly, provocative satire of race relations in the age of Obama. Writer/director Justin Simien follows a group of African American students as they navigate campus life and racial politics at a predominantly white college in a sharp and funny feature film debut that earned him a spot on Variety's annual "10 Directors to Watch."

Current Judgment: Dear White People, please make sure this film is in every theater so I can go see it. This looks freaken hysterical! I can't wait to see this movie. The trailer is sharp, funny, and smart about the culture of stereotypes. This seems totally awesome as a break through comedy and I for one, can not wait to see it!

John Wick
Drop Date: Oct 24, 2O14

An ex-hitman comes out of retirement to track down the gangsters that took everything from him. With New York City as his bullet-riddled playground, JOHN WICK (Keanu Reeves) is a fresh and stylized take on the "assassin genre".

Current Judgment: At first I thought this was maybe a comic or a play off of the Hitman video game series. Now I am just thinking, where is this coming from? It's a brand coming from left field and I am not sure how much of a fresh take this will be on the assassin genre. Looks pretty generic to me, soooo am I missing something  here? Assassin leaves the game, somebody close to him dies, he pulls out all of his old gear and goes on a super rampage of epic proportions, slaughtering his way around town, finds the people responsible and kills them. Then goes back to his normal life and mourns. The end. Yippee. Cute puppy though, too bad it dies. Not sure how great this movie will be, but it looks action packed enough to be entertaining at least. Although I thought the same about 47 Ronin and that was pretty bad. All I can say is "You screwed up Reek! GET IN YOUR CAGE BEFORE I CUT YOUR PINKY OFF!"

Nightcrawler
 Drop Date: Oct 31, 2O14

NIGHTCRAWLER is a pulse-pounding thriller set in the nocturnal underbelly of contemporary Los Angeles. Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Lou Bloom, a driven young man desperate for work who discovers the high-speed world of L.A. crime journalism. Finding a group of freelance camera crews who film crashes, fires, murder and other mayhem, Lou muscles into the cut-throat, dangerous realm of nightcrawling -- where each police siren wail equals a possible windfall and victims are converted into dollars and cents. Aided by Rene Russo as Nina, a veteran of the blood-sport that is local TV news, Lou thrives. In the breakneck, ceaseless search for footage, he becomes the star of his own story.

Current Judgment: Jake Gyllenhaal looks freaken tweaked in this movie. Is he on something? Seriously. Because he looks like he's been hitting a few rocks of crack right before a shoot. This movie looks crazy as hell. An obsessive story chaser that is getting the scoop before the police even do and then just being all psycho about keeping evidence from the cops. Duuude. This looks good if not freaken psychotic and scary. Might be something worth watching if you got a strong stomach for the crazy.

Horns 
Drop Date: Oct 31, 2O14

Based on the novel by Joe Hill, Horns is a supernatural thriller driven by fantasy, mystery and romance. The film follows Ig Perrish (Daniel Radcliffe, "Harry Potter" films), the number one suspect for the violent rape and murder of his girlfriend, Merrin (Juno Temple). Hungover from a night of hard drinking, Ig awakens one morning to find horns starting to grow from his own head and soon realizes their power drives people to confess their sins and give in to their most selfish and unspeakable impulses - an effective tool in his quest to discover the true circumstances of his late girlfriend's tragedy and for exacting revenge on her killer.

Current Judgment: This seems to be an intriguing mix of genres. Romance, Fantasy, Mystery, a Murder and some wicked comedy elements weaved in. This is Daniel Radcliffe's way of pushing further away from Harry Potter [although that play where his character was naked and had a fetish for riding horses certainly did a good number on that]. Horns sounds like a very interesting story and the trailer is enough to definitely get me watching. Daniel's appearance looks more satyr than devil, however he picks up quite a few traditional devil like tems in the film such as the pitch fork and the serpent. It will be interesting to see how well this does.

Interstellar
Drop Date: Nov 7, 2O14

Christopher Nolan directs his brother Jonathan's script for this sci-fi film surrounding inter-dimensional travel based on the theories of physicist Kip Thorne. Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway star.

Current Judgment: Am I the only one that doesn't seem that impressed with this film? I've seen two different trailers so far and it looks a lot like a snoring cry fest. Kind of like Armageddon, but more cry than anything else. I had high hopes that this film would be interesting and it seems kind of like a lot of bad science mixed into a "desolate, let save humanity from itself" sci-fi movie. I mean first off, Matthew Mcconaughey couldn't keep his promise to come back any way in this film. The time on Earth and the time in space is going to automatically differentiate in the aging process. Plus black hole travel is relatively unknown, but from what we know it sounds like it sucks balls. What we do know is that its probably going to rip you particle by particle. As Aryeon states in its thrilling rock opera The Universal Migrator, "Nothing can't escape it, not even light." This movie doesn't seem that interesting to me, but I have a feeling it will do well anyway because...Christopher Nolan.

Big Hero 6
Drop Date: Nov 7, 2O14

With all the heart and humor audiences expect from Walt Disney Animation Studios, "Big Hero 6" is an action-packed comedy-adventure about robotics prodigy Hiro Hamada, who learns to harness his genius-thanks to his brilliant brother Tadashi and their like-minded friends: adrenaline junkie Go Go Tamago, neatnik Wasabi, chemistry whiz Honey Lemon and fanboy Fred. When a devastating turn of events catapults them into the midst of a dangerous plot unfolding in the streets of San Fransokyo, Hiro turns to his closest companion-a robot named Baymax-and transforms the group into a band of high-tech heroes determined to solve the mystery.

Current Judgment: This movie is going to be the big run away children's film of the holiday season. One part Wall-E, one part anime and one part super hero makes a really fun mix for an animated film. I can see this being a really great movie and Disney always does a good job with humor/story building for their animation work. This looks like a definite must see!

The Theory of Everything
Drop Date: Nov 7, 2O14

Starring Eddie Redmayne ("Les Misérables") and Felicity Jones ("The Amazing Spider-Man 2"), this is the extraordinary story of one of the world's greatest living minds, the renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking, who falls deeply in love with fellow Cambridge student Jane Wilde. Once a healthy, active young man, Hawking received an earth-shattering diagnosis at 21 years of age. With Jane fighting tirelessly by his side, Stephen embarks on his most ambitious scientific work, studying the very thing he now has precious little of - time. Together, they defy impossible odds, breaking new ground in medicine and science, and achieving more than they could ever have dreamed. The film is based on the memoir Traveling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen, by Jane Hawking, and is directed by Academy Award winner James Marsh ("Man on Wire").

Current Judgment: This is a story about Stephen Hawking, one of the most awesome astrophysicists of our time. I have read about his story before and how he had developed his disease quite early in his 2Os. Yet the man still has accomplished so much despite that. This is a great story about a struggle to continue on living while losing all his mobility in the process. The movie looks beautiful and it shows a different side to the typical Hawking we know today. I think its great to see a biopic of some one so renowned for his contribution to the world. I am very interested in checking this one out. This is kind of the nerds love story and as a nerd, that's pretty darn cool.

Dumb and Dumber To
Drop Date: Nov 14, 2O14

Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels reprise their roles as lovable imbeciles Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne in this sequel to Dumb and Dumber from original directing duo Bobby and Peter Farrelly.

Current Judgment: I know we've been waiting for a sequel for two decades, but christ, this looks bad. I got to see the Mutts n Cutts van at Comic Con though so they were trying to advertise for this movie a bit, but I'm not sure how this is going to work out. I liked Dumb and Dumber, but this seems a lot of the same and they have a whole lot of expectations to fill with this one considering how long its been. I think this will do about 4O-6O% rating in the theaters. I would be really shocked if it rated in the 9Os, but with a lot on the line, there is a good chance it might.

Fox Catcher
Drop Date: Nov 14, 2O14

FOXCATCHER is a psychological drama directed by Academy Award nominee Bennett Miller (MONEYBALL) and starring Golden Globe winner Steve Carell, Channing Tatum, Academy Award nominee Mark Ruffalo, Academy Award winner Vanessa Redgrave and Sienna Miller. The film was written by E. Max Frye and Academy Award nominee Dan Futterman. FOXCATCHER tells the story of Olympic Gold Medal-winning wrestler Mark Schultz (Tatum), who sees a way out from the shadow of his more celebrated wrestling brother Dave (Ruffalo) and a life of poverty when he is summoned by eccentric multi-millionaire John du Pont (Carell) to move onto his estate and train for the 1988 Seoul Olympics. Desperate to gain the respect of his disapproving mother, du Pont begins "coaching" a world-class athletic team and, in the process, lures Mark into dangerous habits, breaks his confidence and drives him into a self-destructive spiral. Based on actual events, FOXCATCHER is a gripping and profoundly American story of fragile men who pinned their hopes for love and redemption on a desperate obsession for greatness that was to end in tragedy.

Current Judgment: This is definitely a strange movie for the holiday season. Steve Carell, usually in a comedy role, is a hard ass trainer. He is totally out of his element here. I'm curious how this will turn out, but I'm pretty unsure if this will interest me enough to go see it. Its supposed to be a true story, so I would have to read up on the tragedy before I ever watch this movie. Channing Tatum stars in the main role as Mark Shultz, a champion wrestler. Do petty things and murders happen in Olympic gyms? I guess so. I am not much of a sports follower so I might end up passing this one up for the season. Who knows.

The Hunger Games - Mockingjay - Part 1
Drop Date: Nov 21, 2O14

The worldwide phenomenon of The Hunger Games continues to set the world on fire with The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1, which finds Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) in District 13 after she literally shatters the games forever. Under the leadership of President Coin (Julianne Moore) and the advice of her trusted friends, Katniss spreads her wings as she fights to save Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) and a nation moved by her courage. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 is directed by Francis Lawrence from a screenplay by Danny Strong and Peter Craig and produced by Nina Jacobson's Color Force in tandem with producer Jon Kilik. The novel on which the film is based is the third in a trilogy written by Suzanne Collins that has over 65 million copies in print in the U.S. alone.

Current Judgment: Get ready for a pretty darn harsh review. I read the books this past Christmas so I am ready to see what kind of changes The Hunger Games accomplished. Although I've been a big fan so far of the films [mostly because they exclude all of Katniss's inner monologue of whining. Looks like its pretty close to the book from the trailer. I remember the plane shots by both Katniss and Gale which was one of the more bad ass scenes in the book. Its going to be interesting to see how they approach the first half since Katniss spends quite a bit of it hiding in closets or in bunkers.

Horrible Bosses 2
Drop Date: Nov 26, 2O14

The follow-up to the 2011 hit comedy "Horrible Bosses" reunites Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis as everyone's favorite working stiffs: Nick, Dale and Kurt. Jennifer Aniston ("We're the Millers"), and Oscar (R) winners Jamie Foxx ("Ray") and Kevin Spacey ("American Beauty," "The Usual Suspects") also reprise their "Horrible Bosses" starring roles, while Chris Pine ("Star Trek: Into Darkness") and Oscar (R) winner Christoph Waltz ("Django Unchained," "Inglourious Basterds") star as new adversaries standing between the guys and their dreams of success.

Current Judgment: I've seen the first movie when it came out on DVD and "hit comedy" were not the words that came to mind when describing it. This is like "The Hangover" meets "Office Space." Except both movies did it better and this just not funny enough for me to think it will keep anyone's attention. I say this will do kind of poorly overall, but for those that want a slapstick ridiculous comedy about people and their crazy bosses, go for it.

Escobar: Paradise Lost
Drop Date: Nov 26, 2O14

For Pablo Escobar (Benicio Del Toro), family is everything. When young surfer Nick (Josh Hutcherson) falls for Escobar's niece, he finds his life on the line when he's pulled into the dangerous world of the family business.

Current Judgment: A sort of kind of story about Pablo Escobar except he's not even the main character. Hrm. Josh Hutcherson definitely feels out of place in this movie, but it always seems like  if the audience doesn't have a relatable character in the movie they won't watch it. An all star ethnic cast seems rare and almost never does well at the box office and I'm fairly sure that is the only reason Josh is in this movie. We all know him from the Hunger Games as Peeta, which makes more sense, but I would have to do my research on this one. Was there a random white guy that married the niece of Pablo Escobar? And seriously as soon as I knew, I would have fled Mexico. Why play with that shit you know? I am conflicted on how I feel. Benicio Del Toro is an amazing actor and could easily carry this film by himself, but I have a feeling he is less in this than we are made to believe.

Exodus: Kings and Gods
Drop Date: Dec 12, 2O14

From acclaimed director Ridley Scott (Gladiator, Prometheus) comes the epic adventure "Exodus: Gods and Kings," the story of one man's daring courage to take on the might of an empire. Using state of the art visual effects and 3D immersion, Scott brings new life to the story of the defiant leader Moses (Christian Bale) as he rises up against the Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses (Joel Edgerton), setting 600,000 slaves on a monumental journey of escape from Egypt and its terrifying cycle of deadly plagues.

Current Judgment: I don't care what you say, this looks REALLY freaken good and I think its going to be one of the big movies of the year. I love Ridley Scott's work and this looks epic! A super awesome take on a biblical tale with horses, and killing, and Egyptian fury and waves of death. HELL YEAH! I am stoked to see mother freaken Moses part the red seas and safely send his people through with the waves crashing behind them, killing everyone that tried to follow their path. Ridley I expect some epic Ten Commandment writing, hallelujah horse back fighting and some Godly CGI!

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
Drop Date: Dec 17, 2O14

 From Academy Award (R)-winning filmmaker Peter Jackson comes "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies," the third in a trilogy of films adapting the enduringly popular masterpiece The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien. "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" brings to an epic conclusion the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield and the Company of Dwarves. Having reclaimed their homeland from the Dragon Smaug, the Company has unwittingly unleashed a deadly force into the world. Enraged, Smaug rains his fiery wrath down upon the defenseless men, women and children of Lake-town. Obsessed above all else with his reclaimed treasure, Thorin sacrifices friendship and honor tohoard it as Bilbo's frantic attempts to make him see reason drive the Hobbit towards a desperate and dangerous choice. But there are even greater dangers ahead. Unseen by any but the Wizard Gandalf, the great enemy Sauron has sent forth legions of Orcs in a stealth attack upon the Lonely Mountain. As darkness converges on their escalating conflict, the races of Dwarves, Elves and Men must decide - unite or be destroyed. Bilbo finds himself fighting for his life and the lives of his friends in the epic Battle of the Five Armies, as the future of Middle-earth hangs in the balance.

Current Judgment: FINALLY! This is the last, drawn out installment of the Hobbit. A book that wasn't nearly as long as The Lord of the Rings, but got the same run time. I am really curious how Jackson is going to tie this up in a pretty bow, connecting it with the rest of the series so he can sell the Super Director's Cut LOTR Fan Favorite 42 disk set in the future. I think that is why he made us trudge through this in the first place right? I want to see Bard slay Smaug with that awesome weapon he has on the roof. There is going to be a serious battle in this last installment as the trailer indicated. Not only between Smaug and Laketown, but the Dwarves, Elves and Humans after the dragon slaying I'm sure. I am a bit rusty on my Hobbit knowledge, but the movie should be good irregardless of how drawn out it is. Make sure to go to the bathroom before you sit down and watch this one!

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
Drop Date: Dec 19, 2O14

Get ready for the wildest and most adventure-filled Night At the Museum ever as Larry (Ben Stiller) spans the globe, uniting favorite and new characters while embarking on an epic quest to save the magic before it is gone forever.

Current Judgment: I am so stoked and ready for a 3rd Night at the Museum movie! This looks awesome and with the recent death of Robin Williams, this will definitely be a special movie. I'm excited for them to go to Britain and gain a few new characters, but I am also sad that this is probably the last Night at the Museum movie they may ever make. Mostly because you can't have a Night at the Museum movie without Theodore Roosevelt. :( I hope I get to see an epic battle between the Triceratops and T-rex, but I doubt it. It would be hard to transfer a dinosaur overseas. Boooo! Guess I have to wait until Jurassic World comes out.

Annie
Drop Date: Dec 19, 2O14

A Broadway classic that has delighted audiences for generations comes to the big screen with a new, contemporary vision in Columbia Pictures' comedy, Annie. Director/Producer/Screenwriter Will Gluck teams with producers James Lassiter, Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith, and Shawn "JAY Z" Carter, Laurence "Jay" Brown, and Tyran "Ty Ty" Smith with a modern telling that captures the magic of the classic characters and original show that won seven Tony Awards. Celia Costas serves as Executive Producer. The screenplay is by Will Gluck and Aline Brosh McKenna, based on the musical stage play "Annie," book by Thomas Meehan, music by Charles Strouse, lyrics by Martin Charnin, and on "Little Orphan Annie," (C) and (R) Tribune Media Services, Inc. Academy Award (R) nominee Quvenzhané Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild) stars as Annie, a young, happy foster kid who's also tough enough to make her way on the streets of New York in 2014. Originally left by her parents as a baby with the promise that they'd be back for her someday, it's been a hard knock life ever since with her mean foster mom Miss Hannigan (Cameron Diaz). But everything's about to change when the hard-nosed tycoon and New York mayoral candidate Will Stacks (Jamie Foxx) - advised by his brilliant VP, Grace (Rose Byrne) and his shrewd and scheming campaign advisor, Guy (Bobby Cannavale) - makes a thinly-veiled campaign move and takes her in. Stacks believes he's her guardian angel, but Annie's self-assured nature and bright, sun-will-come-out-tomorrow outlook on life just might mean it's the other way around.

Current Judgment: With the risk of sounding prejudice, I'm going to speak my mind. A black Annie? Really? Haven't we done this Annie story to death any way and now some executive sitting in his fat cat chair drinking scotch and petting his white cat is like "Hey, we can do Annie again...and we can make her BLACK. That's a great new take on this story! She can be sassy too! Equality, mofos!" Augh to racial stereotypes. I hate movies with cute little smart ass kids in them and this is really looking like that kind of movie. Although Jamie Foxx looks hilarious in his role, I'm pretty sure I'm tired of seeing Annie white or black. Also this was a dumb observation, Cameron Diaz's character asks in the trailer "When did this city get so musical?" Its freaken New York...do you even go outside ever? All I hear about from New York is people doing flash mobs, banging out music on the streets, singing in the subways and all of that nonsense. I mean, freaken GLEE is filming in New York. There are SONGS about New York. Broadway is in New York. DO YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK, MA'AM? Because that is a really stupid question to ask.

Into the Woods
Drop Date: Dec 25, 2O14

"Into the Woods" is a modern twist on several of the beloved Brothers Grimm fairy tales, intertwining the plots of a few choice stories and exploring the consequences of the characters' wishes and quests. This humorous and heartfelt musical follows the classic tales of Cinderella (Anna Kendrick), Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford), Jack and the Beanstalk (Daniel Huttlestone), and Rapunzel (MacKenzie Mauzy)-all tied together by an original story involving a baker and his wife (James Corden & Emily Blunt), their wish to begin a family and their interaction with the witch (Meryl Streep) who has put a curse on them.

Current Judgment: So this seems like a mix of fairy tales weaved into one story or several stories. Who knows. From what I heard this "Into the Woods" ordeal has been around for a while as a play. I never heard of it, but it has an all star cast and Disney is behind it of course. The trailer doesn't exactly intrigue except for the fact that everyone is dying to know what Johnny Depp looks like as the wolf. This seems almost like the anti-disney movie considering Disney is all about making dreams/wishes come true. So while I think it would be a decent movie, I have mixed feelings on how well it will turn out. Although I do love Brother Grimm fairy tales, so that's a plus.

The Interview
Drop Date: Dec 25, 2O14

In the action-comedy The Interview, Dave Skylark (James Franco) and his producer Aaron Rapoport (Seth Rogen) run the popular celebrity tabloid TV show "Skylark Tonight." When they discover that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un is a fan of the show, they land an interview with him in an attempt to legitimize themselves as journalists. As Dave and Aaron prepare to travel to Pyongyang, their plans change when the CIA recruits them, perhaps the two least-qualified men imaginable, to assassinate Kim Jong-un.

Current Judgment: This movie had posters everywhere in the Gas Lamp Quarter of Comic Con and I had no clue what it was, but I took a picture any way. It looks REALLY interesting and I hope its funnier than the trailer. Although I'm pretty sure the military is about to go on high alert when this one comes out. Seriously Kim? Its Christmas. At least wait to wage war after Christmas. I am very sure North Korea will claim this as documented proof that America wants to assassinate their dear leader, Little Kim the fat and lumpy. I'm pretty stoked Lizzy Caplan is in this one though...she's pretty sexy with long hair.

Paddington
Drop Date: Dec 25, 2O14

From the beloved novels by Michael Bond and producer David Heyman (HARRY POTTER), PADDINGTON tells the story of the comic misadventures of a young Peruvian bear (voiced by Firth) who travels to the city in search of a home. Finding himself lost and alone, he begins to realize that city life is not all he had imagined - until he meets the kindly Brown family who read the label around his neck that says "Please look after this bear. Thank you," and offer him a temporary haven. It looks as though his luck has changed until this rarest of bears catches the eye of a museum taxidermist.

Current Judgment: Another Cute movie for the kiddos to watch during the holidays. Paddington Bear has been around for a fairly long time in children's literature. Its neat to see it has finally came to the big screen for the first time in CGI. Although the textures on Paddington are sub par, the movie looks cute enough for kids to enjoy it and for parents to not be texting out of boredom. So if you are having a hard time this Christmas with what to watch with the young ones, this would be a good pick for the season.

Big Eyes
Drop Date: Dec 25, 2O14

The true story of painter Margaret Keane's life in obscurity while her husband gleaned the notoriety for being the face of her work is brought to the screen by Tim Burton and his Ed Wood screenwriters, Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski. Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz star.

Current Judgment: Another true story....yaaay. The interesting part is this is done by Tim Burton without a lick of his signature creepy style attached to it. I think I would watch it for Christoph Waltz alone honestly. I totally love that man. He's an amazing actor and an amazing German. I'm more curious at how this story ends considering the trailer has revealed like 8O% of the story. Did she win the case? Did she get murdered by her husband who built an entire empire on a lie? I think this would be the underdog movie of the season.

TV Shows: Because I need to watch something free this season.

Gotham
Drop Date: Sept 22, 2O14

Before Batman went bat shit crazy, there was Gotham

For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Gotham was the big new show reveal this year at Comic Con so far its not bad. Just got to watch the first two episodes that are available for streaming on Hulu. If you are a Batman fan, you should definitely check it out. Jada Pinkett Smith is totally unrecognizable, you get a cussing, rough around the edges, Alfred and a good guy rebel Jim Gordon. You will appreciate the characters before Batman's rise. I wouldn't say its the best TV this season, but its entertaining.

Alt slogan: "Screw you and your happy ending"

Once Upon a Time: Season 4 - Frozen Style
Drop Date: Sept 28, 2O14

So last season left me pretty salty. It was the perfect end to a series. Everyone had their happy ending. Joy! We can high five and go home now right? Nope. The pricks over at ABC just HAD to continue this nonsense for another season and now making it more Disneyfiled than ever before. Not only did they start off with Frozen and had the Beauty and the Beast music playing during Belle's dance with Rumple but they also added Mickey's sorcerer hat in the process. I swear if they sing "let it go" this season, I'm going to hit a baby right into the dumpster.

COME ON! This is about fairy tales and you are just abusing the system! Of course I will watch it, I've invested too far to stop, but this is seriously pissing me off. They better end this crap soon or I'm going to have to go back in time and kill the man responsible for creating the show so I can get back all the years I've lost over this series.

Is this subtle Iron Man colors or what?

The Flash
Drop Date: Oct 7, 2O14

We all know the Flash and if you don't, what kind of rock have you been under? Get the hell off of my blog and do some damn research! Any way, at Comic Con they were giving away bags with this logo on it and I seriously wish I gotten one for the Flash or Gotham or at least something cooler then the creep fest I ended up getting as my bag design. Anyone looking forward to this? Is America's new generation ready to meet the Flash? This could either be really awesome or really shitty. Let's find out!



The Walking Dead Season 5
Drop Date: Oct 12, 2O14

If Daryl dies, we riot!

Finally we stopped walking in freaken circles! I'm totally ready to watch some back-water bitch slapping, gun slinging, boxing matches between the crew and a community of salivating cannibals that want to cook our heroes on an open fire. HUZZAH! I'm pretty pumped to have The Walking Dead back on the air. Lets kill some cannibals and zombies and save the world with mullet man! Hells yeah! I want my Michon back. She's just a bad ass mofo. Is anyone as excited as I am to see some zombie action again?

Shut up and watch this already!!!

Penny Dreadful - Season 1 - DVD/Blueray
Drop Date: Oct 14, 2O14

For all of you slackers that missed the best series ever this summer, you have a chance to redeem yourself by picking up a copy of their DVD/Blueray that is coming out this fall. It has a lot of cool bonus features so I think I will pick it up myself.







Constantine

This looks cool and stupid, lets watch it!

Drop Date: Oct 24, 2O14

I've never seen Constantine done right. So regarding that fact, I don't have a lot of hopes for this one. First off, the actor who plays Constantine looks douchey with that hair cut. Second, why do spirits always have to be bad? I won't be convinced until this puts up and shows me what its got. So lets see how well the writers put this one together shall we?



YOUR TURN TO SELECT THE VICTIMS:

Put in your votes! Which one do you want to see a review on most this season? What movies are you interested in seeing for yourself? Comment below!!

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