Monday, June 9, 2014

X-Men: Days of Future Past - HORRAY, X-Men 3 Never Happened!

In one epic two hour movie, the vile fetus child of Brett Ratner's abomination, X-Men 3: The Last Stand, is finally erased from the timeline forever! Also X-Men 2...because Jean and Scott are still alive. Yay for movie time traveling! Righting all the wrongs in the fictional universe so that fans can finally wash out the bad taste in their mouths. This gem of a movie brought back its all star cast, every single one of them, both new and old to make an outstanding change in the timeline. I think we are back on track, ladies and gentlemen!

When time slows, the fun begins
Down and Dirty:

What can I say? This movie was well done. It was complicated, but not convoluted. Between past and present, it was easy to follow each piece of the timeline and their effects on each other.

The rules were generally clean cut in the explanation of consciousness time traveling. As for the special effects, they were barely passable and weren't realistic enough to be believable at times. Overall a pretty entertaining movie with a good mix of drama and humor. It doesn't take itself too seriously, but lovely references all the other movies in the cineverse at the same time.


Probably the best part about the movie. The story was very strong, easy to follow and fun to watch.
Even though Bishop was replaced as the one to go back in time, Bryan Singer knew we barely know Bishop nor his struggles. However Wolverine is very familiar and we all love that guy. So off he goes into the time space continuum to warn the others of impending doom. Sentinels that can adapt to ever mutant power and destroy them all.

Beast. Wolverine. Make it so.
Logan is definitely our star as he becomes the main protagonist that goes back in time to save the world. And the funny part is he has to be patient with a very stubborn, emotional, slackjaw younger version of Professor X that is pissed at the world. But I think the most interesting part of all was how much mixing of real history they pushed into the story. The unfortunate part is they didn't choose to do anything obscure [because we all know how well the American public actually knows their history], but still delightfully done none the less.


The effects were rather corny. I don't know who they hire to do the graphics for these movies, but Fox must keep selecting the lowest price package possible because the effects are cheaply done. The worst example were the pieces of rail road that was pulled off and shredded into smaller pieces to embed into the robots. That was just awful. They didn't even try to make it realistic. The sentinels also looked like they copied the models straight off of the Protoss race from Star Craft. At least the blackbird doesn't look too bad and Blink's portal effects are pretty cool too. I really wish they colored one blue and the other orange. That would have been such an awesome nod to the game, Portal.

New Characters:

We really didn't get to know some of the new characters, but here is what I understand:

Blink - I love her abilities, the portal capability is very useful for the other characters to play off of in a fight. I like her look, its got an almost cyberpunk like look. However we barely got to understand her personality. So I don't know much about her.

Bishop - Seemed like a pretty cool dude and his energy absorption to fire up his weapon and capabilities is nice. Bishop is the first to go through Kitty's mind time effects so he can warn the mutants in the past against the Sentinel strike. Bishop seems like a leader.

Sunspot - All I know is he sets himself on fire and....yeah. How does he keep his hair?

Warpath - I still don't get him. By the way...this dude's real name is Booboo and he was in Twilight. Nough said.


Quicksilver - FINALLY we get to know a character a bit more than watching them die two different times. Quicksilver is by far, the most fun to follow. I love the slow motion scene where he is moving through the room playing jokes on his attackers while saving his group from certain doom. Quicksilver is presented as a smart ass and trouble maker that seems to feel he is above the law. Of course with his abilities, I can't blame him. You can't arrest what you can't catch. Quicksilver has a great personality and seems eager to please and learn when guided in the right direction. I would definitely like to see more of him in the future.

The Future is NOW: [A collection of thoughts]

The Fastest Boy Alive - 

How old does Magneto have to be in this movie to have a 16 year old brat named Quicksilver? Supposedly Magneto was born in the I guess by the time 1973 rolls around he is what...3O to 4O something years old? Holy moly. He looks in the movie as if he could have been in his early 3Os. Something is off here.

Detection Error - 

Four perfectly good mutants were right in front of these behemoths and who do they detect? Magneto holding up the thunder dome in the sky. So say they never make a mistake? There is pretty strong confidence in that assumption. You are just as good as Justin Hammer with his drones. Did Ivan Vanko work on your bots too?

How does this thing seriously detect X-genes?
Baby Monitors - 

So the robots have these devices in them that detect the mutant X gene and they REALLY look like baby monitors. I was waiting for a baby's cry to emit from the speaker side of the detector. SENTINELS, there to protect your babies...from evil mutants and soothe them with bottles.

Ice Ice Baby - 

Was it REALLY necessary for bobby to turn his body into ice? It looks cool, I'll give him that, but unless you are a glacier, ice shatters pretty easily. I wouldn't have bothered to do that knowing these Sentinels are pretty ruthless.

Magneto Just Turns Them On - 

So now Magneto can turn on and control these robots? I thought the metal splitting was merely to control the bots physically and not through command and control. Yeah...this was a little far fetch'd for my taste.

Casual Cops to the Rescue - 

I know good ol Pietro, AKA Quicksilver was a trouble maker, but did his mom seriously think Logan and the gang were cops? Did cops just wore whatever they wanted in the 7Os?

I feel like she is really trying to become the last airbender
Blink is also Psychic - 

I know Blink needs to anticipate wherever she is portaling, but how did she know Kitty and Bishop were in trouble on the opposite side of the building so she can portal in to save the day? And how can she just portal without being in the area?

Amazon Delivery Drop - 

I know this was the final arc of the storyline, but why did Trask felt he needed to send a shit ton of sentinels to kill Magneto, Xavier and the last of the mutant stand? It seemed from the first fight just 3 sentinels could take them all down with ease. Even when the carriers exploded, they still had 2O more climbing the walls.

Enslavement - 

I know mutants are the spooky scary us against them scenario, but how does anyone believe enslavement is OK for even mutant children? Oh right...Japanese internment camps. Never mind.

Do me a favor, Pod. Be a good lad and fetch me some wine.
Trask Gives Almost No Viable Explanation of His Hatred for Mutants - 

If Trask didn't hate mutants that much, why was he so bent on eliminating them all? It seemed he had a successful business already set up. Was mutant terror, a problem that never seemed to be a big deal before, something he just needed to eliminate? Was he bored? And why can't I help, but keep thinking he is Tyrion and I need to feel sorry for him? Trask didn't seem like such a bad dude or much of a villain compared to his counterpart, Major Striker.

Drugs Are Awesome! - 

Xavier sure loves his drugs...until its convinient to the plot. Gosh. Who knew a pep talk was the solution to cure drug addiction? Damn. Why doesn't EVERYONE just do that? And man, Beast is an enabler. Grow a spine, Beast.

So Original -

Nothing says 197O like a lava lamp. Gosh, you couldn't think of anything more nostalgic? It is literally the first thing that comes into view when Logan wakes up. Its like we can't get away from these things being in every scene of every movie made about the 7Os. Its like....that is the only thing everyone remembers because they were all high as a kite.

"The Crow" Wannabe Has Some Constipation Issues
Warpath is Useless - 

Hi I'm an Indian and I can sense shit from far away. That is my only power, but after being a glorified scout, I'm pretty useless as a fighter. But check out my MENACING MEAN FACE! GRRR! Are you intimidated now?

Warpath: "Oh! Oh! Hey guys I see something!"


*Everyone gets killed*

Warpath: "Hey...guys? Guys? Am I the only one alive? Oh shit."

 Hank's Doohickey - 

I'm pretty sure if the guards saw his device, they probably wouldn't let him keep it on the tour. What was his explanation? Oh sorry officer, this is just the remote control for my TV set. I sure love Howdy Doody.

No Forks For You - 

Seriously... where are the utensils? Not even a spork? How was Magneto supposed to eat his food? And why were they keeping him below one of the most important military/political structures in DC? You figured he would be far far away from anyone important in a special prison some where on an island where he could never escape.

Kirk just discovered went out of business
Star Trek References Current Situation - 

Not only was this scene emphasizing how geeky Beast was, the movie also takes the time to play a Star Trek episode that TOTALLY references the current issue. This episode came from the original Star Trek series and its called "The Naked Time."

Major Striker is the Worst Body Guard Ever - 

This guy is supposed to protect Trask and instead he just keeps screwing up. He can't even save his troops in Vietnam from an unarmed woman. When they caught Raven in the meeting room, why didnt he shoot through the table? I know hes an officer and they dont like to get their hands dirty but seriously....why does he suck so bad? Was that the first time he ever held a gun? Geez. No wonder they put you in special programs. They probably didn't want you to get them killed on the battlefield.

Kitty Scratch - 

You just got scratched...omg...what are you taking? blood thinners? How can you leak that much blood to the point that you are losing too much of it? Why couldnt they tear a piece off of magnetos cloak to stop her from bleeding? Its not like hes going to use it anyway.

You Make Me Sick - 

Haha...Silly Mutant, your power makes everyone puke. LOL. Lame.

^ Not Scarlett Witch. Peter's mom is cheating on Magneto
Quicksilver's Sister -

And where is Scarlett Witch?? His twin sister never shows up or even gets referenced in the movie, so I assume they were separated at birth for whatever reason. Man, Peter's mom is a dick to her own daughter AND she keeps the next one to add salt to the wound. This woman clearly couldn't handle two abnormal children wrecking her life. Time to pop a bastard with a NORMAL man.

Porcupine Kid - 

How did this kid get through MEPS without being eliminated from the facility? Oh look like you got into a fight with a thorn bush. You got your balls? Good. Good enough to fight in nam. NEXT!!!

Kitty Power Change - 

Now Kitty has the power to do mind melding, past/present shit. So how did this second genetic mutation happen again? And what would they do if she couldn't do that? I mean...we wouldn't haven this movie, that's for sure.

This is her "I'm going to put a foot up your ass" look
Ravens Clothes - 

So Raven can morph herself and her clothes....but she couldn't do that with the mink coat she was wearing? Why is she allowed to morph her clothes too? So does that mean she is always technically naked if her clothes are part of her skin transformation?

Logan Lights One Up - 

In the shitiest of times you can always count on Logan to light up a cigar casually right before all hell breaks loose.

Double Nixon - 

When Raven turned into Nixon, I swear some one was going to mess it up by aren't the President! I am really shocked that 3O different people kept their mouths shut like a pro.

Blink is Asian? -

Blink is now Asian folks....she no longer looks link P!nk, she looks more like an anime character. I guess they needed a token Asian in this one or my peoples were going to through a fit.

Raven's Foot Choke - 

She choked out that dude with her foot! Daaammmn. That's hot.

So overall this was a great movie and really brings back the spirit of what the X-men are all about. Bryan Singer is just amazing at making these movies. FOX, please make him do all of them! If you love stories about time traveling, mutants, and post-apocalyptic doom, then you will be in love with this movie. The script is on target, clings onto you and never lets you go all the way til the end. Of course we all knew it would end well, but it definitely left an impression. Enjoy!

What did you think of the new X-Men movie? Loved it or hated it? Tell us why in the comments below!

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DnD Rating: 9.5/1O

After Credits Teaser?: YES! After the credits are complete, you will get to see a glimpse of the upcoming storyline: Age of Apocalypse. Why do I tell you this? Because I'm a 1OO% sure that if you aren't a big comic fan you would have no clue what that ending meant [I didn't]. For those of you who want to read more into it here is a great link explaining the after credit scene: ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’ End Credits Scene Explained

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