First Impressions - Game Reviews: "Beyond: Two Souls" and "God of War: Ascension"

I just came back from my uncle's place and am excited to talk about two bad ass games for the PS3 that I checked out as demos and looking forward to assimilate into my collection in the future!

         Beyond: Two Souls  / God of War: Ascension

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BEYOND: TWO SOULS

Beyond: Two Souls is a new type of game for me. I've seen the commercials and was intrigued, but never paid attention to it until I got to play the demo. What I found out was how brilliantly crafted it was, it really blew me away. The story is phenomenal and the game play is...well just like a story.

Jodie Holmes, your escapee, poltergeist wielding avatar

Meet Jodie Holmes.  Jodie has a special gift. Ever since she was born, she has had a strange connection to an entity named Aiden.

Her foster parents couldn't handle her after an incident occurred, leaving her to the government and their interest in her strange, paranormal capabilities. What are those you ask? Telepathy, short-time human possession, and being able to move, toss, and break things without lifting a finger.

Jodie's bizarre skill set is tested in the very first part of the game where you get to play with the questionable Aiden. Long story short, your little telepathy session turns into a chaotic smash and bash after a while causing your volunteer on the other side to scream in horror.

So now that we talk about the story a bit, lets go on with the game play. The game play is more interactive/cinematic that I have experienced in a game before. It really is hard to tell sometimes when you are in a cinematic sequence and when you are playing in the game. I kind of like it that way. It makes it feel more involving when you have to make all of these decisions rather quickly.

William Dafoe? Is that you?

Yes, unlike most games, you have a time limit on how you want to handle each situation or the game will make a choice for you. Just like real life. Its really fascinating and fun at the same time. Running from policemen, swat team members and literally everyone else that is chasing you, you can run through the woods, hop over logs, climb cliff sides and have a wide range of techniques you can use with Aiden when you are in a jam. The game play is brilliant in how fun it can be, especially when you are using Aiden.

Lets discuss a little bit about movement and control. Here is where the game fails for me. The controls are a bit hard to get use to. Aiden is easy to control once you figure out how to possess people and things, but Jodie in combination is a bit messy. Moving characters seems to have a time delay that is present in the game. You hit the stick..your character takes a second to pace forward. I don't care for that even if it is more realistic. when I hit the stick, I expect my character to move rather instantaneously.

The real life Jodie, AKA: Ellen Page [Juno, Inception]

Maybe I am not use to this type of game, but the controls took me quite a while to learn how to interact with when moving her or other people around. Luckily the game helps you out a bit by providing balls of light in the directions you need to either look or move toward.

Blue lights indicate you can possess the object or person with Aiden. White lights indicate you need to hit your view stick in that direction. All of this is present within the speedy confines of the game play itself. I'm sure if I was playing the actual game I would have more time to learn the controls compared to hitting all the cool parts of the game where I had to make faster decisions.

Either way, I have to admit the movement of the characters themselves are incredibly realistic. I was marveled by the way the 9 year old girl moved as it was identical to a real child. It was obvious they used some motion capture software with real people to translate for the game. It was still cool.

I smell a come back of epicness on the horizon!

So as far as I am concerned, hands down the best looking game I have seen in a while. I really want to get a PS3 just to play this and tis the season for people to expel all of their PS3s for a PS4! I am in luck!

This is a definite buy for the season if you own a Playstation 3. An amazing game, realistic textures, movements, powerful storyline and really interactive game play [when you get use to the controls].


DnD 'First Impressions' Score: 9/1O

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GOD OF WAR: ASCENSION

God of War has been one of my all time favorite series. The rebellious Spartan General, Kratos, has charged his way into my heart again with a new storyline with the Furies and Orkos.

Joke of the Year: Furies think chains can hold Kratos

 This is your starting point. You are Kratos, the bad ass that dished out hell up at Mt. Olympus. Son of that manipulative asshole, Zeus and the biggest balls on the block. Your mission is to escape the grasp of the Furies and invoke your vision of revenge on the Gods.

After you bust free of your prison, you go on a crazy adventure chasing a Fury that chucks every creature against you. But that's OK. You are going to handle it by sword slaying, chain smashing, shit kicking, and brutally beating your way through the levels. Which are, as always, crazy as shit right from the start. You are fighting off everything from a swarm of large beetles, to possessed soldiers, to this weird thumb monster with scythes for hands. Every level is intense as you smash your way through while chasing the Fury down.

Its pretty much very typical and similar compared to the past games. And for that, I'm not as impressed as I usually am. The game is definitely fun and Kratos does the coolest shit like kick doors open and chain slinging enemies around. Your final moves are pretty exciting to watch, but the thing I always hated about God of War was in the middle of a killer final move, I'm forced to think and press the square or triangle button. WTF man. I just want to see him wiping his ass all over Mt Olympus. Is that too much to ask?

Kratos jumps after Gandalf in the Balrog fight

The demo was definitely long enough to see there are some pretty crazy shit situations you get in which make the game exciting on a visual level. As usual, God of War is part blood and destruction and part puzzle. Puzzles are fun for me. It was the reason I was attracted to the game in the first place.

I think this would still be a good play even if it doesn't bring any big surprises out. My love and fascination with Greek Mythology really comes to life playing these games. This one will be no different. I still think its worth a buy, mainly because the games have been solid in their story telling and game play. I at least know it will be a fair purchase and a hell of a lot of fun, even if it doesn't have any extra impressive game mechanics to it.

DnD 'First Impressions' Score: 7.8/1O

Breaking Bad's Epic Ending

 
Breaking Bad has been a favorite of mine for a while. The first time I saw it I was hooked. I binged watched it until the end of the fourth season right before the fifth one started. And this past Sunday night, it all came to an end.

 Let me first say how brilliant the writing is with this show. Everything is solid and even at its worse, its amazing how the writers create the characters get away schemes. The fact that they use science to get out of their situations makes Walt's skills the most unique criminal skills in the history of story telling. Who the hell uses chemistry and guns to kick ass? Walt does. Because Walt is a bad ass character. This is what makes this show fascinating and fun to watch. It gives nerds a place in the universe even on the scale of evil to be cool. The meek becomes the strong...and then the tyrannical. As Walt says "I'm not in danger, I AM the danger." A lot of the lines that Walt states is chillingly awesome.

At first when you see him he is plain and pathetic man beaten down by life. Then he grows to be a brilliant criminal that even at his worse, had the best intentions for his family. The conflict of evil vs good weighs heavily in this series and even the worst Walt does, you still end up relating to him. You can't help it. Walt is an evil character that is hard not to love and feel sorry for. Hes had a shitty life and the blue meth he created was his magnum opus. You kind of understand what he did because most of us would feel the same if we got the same raw deals he got.

Back to the subject of endings. Endings are difficult for most people to do properly. There are several series I can name off the top of my head that pissed me off. You want an ending to do justice to the show, but at the same time you want it to be a thrilling ride all the way to the last second. Walt's ending was satisfying. I told everyone I wouldn't be happy if Walt died. What I feared most was the writers would go cheap and have him shot by some one close. Making for a rather somber, crappy ending to such a brilliant character. I won't tell you what happened, but lets say Walt did redeem himself a little in this last episode. All of the pain he caused, he knew was there. And it ended with him going out like a bad ass.

The writers did a good job at tying up loose ends and giving us hope for some of the characters in the future. Most of all, we see how far the relationship of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman is tested all the way til the bitter end. Its amazing, but I will miss their messed up partnership between Master and Apprentice.

The most painful scene to watch was between him and his wife with their last goodbyes. I never liked his wife. In the beginning she was controlling and cold to him, but as the series went on, you could tell this woman loved him. She grew on me in the last season. Even through the worst of it, she still gave him a last chance to say goodbye to his little girl. Such a sad scene, because of all the implications that went into that final talk.

Breaking Bad, you continued to surprise me on what's around the corner every step of the way. I couldn't have been more wrong in my predictions, but I loved every second of it. It was a brilliantly thought out show with interesting characters and one hell of a ride all the way through.

My hats off to the best writing in television. I can't wait to see what you guys come up with next!


                 Next up...BETTER CALL SAUL!

Don Jon - The 'Anti-Chick Flick' Flick

DON JON

Don Jon stars Joseph Gorden Levitt and Scarlett Johansson in a romantic comedy about a traditional New Jersey man that meets a traditional New Jersey woman, but this is anything, but a traditional story.

First off, I have to give props to Joseph. He really got ripped for this film! OMG. I was like...WTF did those come from? I always loved his portrayal of Arthur in Inception, but Joseph Gorden Levitt has been around for a long time as mainly a TV actor [the big ones being 3rd Rock from the Sun and Roseanne], but in the past several years has risen as a great movie actor as well.

I was excited about this one due to the interesting premise of a man who has everything going for him, including the ladies, but is a porn addict. This is Joseph Gorden Levitt's debut as a director and writer. I really like what actors do when they become directors in Hollywood. They always give unique spins to stories and show more depth and attention to detail. The odd part was the opening weekend crowd at a noon show was a rousing 2 people [me and some other dude sitting far in a corner probably jacking off to Scarlett Johansson]. Are we the only addicts in this theater or did people feel too uncomfortable to come see this? I think they were missing out in a way. This wasn't as bad as people imagined, but its also not as good at giving out the punches of morality with expectations as much as you would hope. The movie has a lot to say...but no really strong lines you can identify with like in movies such as Fight Club.

First Impressions?

This made me feel I was watching a Jersey Shore Porno, I'm sorry to say. The movie makes you purposely uncomfortable in how much pornographic imagery that is shown, but it fails to finish off clean like most films. The story's conflicts were not as integrated into the main central theme and came off as plodding from scene to scene, with little pay off.

However it doesn't mean there weren't any fun moments. The movie essentially makes fun of the chick flick genre and the images and  unrealistic expectations that different forms of media sends out to our young generation. The story work shows an intricacy that Joseph Gorden Levitt has in deviating from the normal path of the traditional romantic comedy. With some skill sharpening, I can see him taking his ideas further in the future.



Story:

The story is unusual as we follow our hero Don Jon from being a typical New Jersey horndog Italian male that loves his family and God to a man changing for the woman he loves to being lost and then overcoming his problems.

The issue here is I feel that Jon's relationship with Barbara had nothing to do with the story and often served as background noise to Jon's problems. There is also not enough connection between Jon and Esther for them to develop much of anything at all except in his moment of weakness. It is odd, but this movie felt clipped at the end. Like there should have been 3O more minutes that existed. It ends awkwardly with a rather sloppy fizzle out into nowhere. I must be missing a few extra plot points some where here. It didn't feel like it even ended and I was taken aback when it just stopped.

There are some good moments here. Jon's POV dialogue is interesting to listen to, however it doesn't make any real points besides the A-typical male stereotype. Jon and Barbara's chemistry is fun to watch as both manipulate each other in different ways. And Jon and Esther's interaction late in the movie is sweet. There are some funny moments that come about and who doesn't love Joseph Gorden Levitt jamming to "Good Vibrations?"

The central issue of Jon's journey is his addiction to porn. However the story also points out that the same unrealistic fantasy guys have about sex from porn, women expect from men with love in relationships. And as an interesting twist, the story does not end in the way you expect out of a romantic comedy. Consider this...the DUDE BRO FLICK of love comedies.

Which brings me to...

Sex: 

Yes. I said it. Sex. There is so much sex, porn, tits and ass in this movie that I was wondering if I should be watching this for content or paying extra for the free porn in the theater. Its confusing and a little unnecessary. After a while, it was like, OK, I get it. He loves his porn. Do we need to insert every clip the internet has to offer?

This is a new breed of romantic comedy...the guy's point of view and there is enough girl bashing and banging to fulfill any guy's interest if he so misfortunately gets dragged to this film.

Flow: 

The flow is exactly this....Sex, Porn, Gym, Church, Family Dinner and never deviates much from that flow until Barbara comes into the picture. Its kind of weird because some of these scenes seem considerably irrelevant to the storyline itself. But I guess they wanted to show that Jon is a consistent, simple man?

Characters:

Jon:

Jon is probably the only decent character in the movie. Jon is a perfectionist and you can see it in how he takes care of himself, his home, his car and the women he dates. He's flashy, confident and expects a lot. He wants not just any woman but the perfect woman. A woman that makes all men jealous and he could lose himself in. He is considerably vain and selfish. Expecting women to be there to pleasure him. When he meets Barbara he bends to her every desire so he can get with her, but ends up feeling trapped inside the charade of Barbara's fantasies. Jon is a rather simple character that drifts between the duty of God and family and his own closeted sexual life as a serial sex and porn addict. So basically the typical New Jersey Catholic. [Kidding. Please don't come to my door. I love Jersey! I really do!]

Barbara:

Barbara is the typical hot Jersey girl. Raised on fantasies of the perfect prince sweeping her off her feet and pampering her as the beautiful princess of his desires, Barbara sees Jon as a person she can "mold" into her dream husband. Barbara, however, has typical glaring female flaws such as an abhorrence to porn and feels the need to control her man from being anything, but her fantasy. Including a rather annoying tiff in the store when she argued with Jon that a man that cleans isn't sexy [what planet is she from?! You know how hard it is to find a man who LIKES to clean?! Barbara...what is your problem?]. Barbara is rather selfish in a different way, but unlike Jon, she never sees the fault in her logic.

Esther:

Esther was a pleasant surprise considering she is not even featured in the trailer at all. Esther starts out as a 'who the hell is this woman?' type of character. Awkward, overly friendly, doesn't take hints. She irritates Jon most of the movie. Its confusing at first where she falls into place until much later in the story. She ends up serving as a more softer, accepting side to Jon's issues and because of their interaction, he changes and grows.

Jon's Dude Bros:

Both of them are one-dimensional characters. Danny is kind of the typical short, Italian male friend that can get what he can take and Bobby [featured in this photo] seems to be a dog as well, but serves more as a man of conscience to Jon.

Bobby seems to have more of a morality compared to the other two guys. He asks poignant questions that the other guys never think of which shows his game is more sophisticated compared to the flat out aggressive chase of the two Italians.

Jon's Very Italian Family:

Father: Tony Danza is hilarious as the father and seems to say the F word every 3 seconds. I also like the wife beaters at the dinner table. Nice touch.

Mother: The very typical Italian mom, pushing Jon to get married and have grand babies so she can be a grandmother. Jon's mother seems to care greatly about the family, but we can tell when she gets angry, she definitely wears the pants.

Sister: I swear she doesn't say anything in this movie except for one line. Jon's sister seems to spend most of her time in the background, texting...somebody. Man...who is she texting? She texts in church, at the dinner table, during all family related events. But she does say one of the most important lines in the movie when she finally speaks.

Other gripes:

1. The many moments of banter that are irrelevant to the story can get annoying. There are several moments such as when the guys compare chicks, the argument about TIVO and football and other stupid banter that makes the scripting annoying. Don Jon does have its moments and there are some witty lines in there, but its fleeting at best and its hard to get into the humor at times. Maybe I just hate listening to stupid people.

2. The narration. There is so much narration in this movie that I feel like Im reading a book and it drives me nuts. It completely cock blocked my ability to get immersed into the story. The narration is often too long, sometimes pointless, and spoon feeds you long, sexist manifestos about why he dislikes something.

3. Also..wtf is in Jon's cum? Lead? Tissues don't slam into wastebaskets that loudly. I guess they wanted to signal him tossing it in the wastebasket with a noise. Still...it really caught my attention.

4. Jon punches a guy's window out in his car and he just lets him go to church, no problem? Really? Is this typical New Jersey behavior? F* you! NO F* YOU Asshole!  *punches window out.* We settle our shit the JERSEY WAY!

5. Also super random note...if you are epileptic in any way. Don't watch this movie. There is a lot of flashing lights in the beginning and a few other parts. Nobody should convulse over softcore porn.

So to conclude Don Jon may not be movie of the year, but its still a fun one if you can stand the Jersey accents. Its has its moments, charming, interesting, different, and a good first time for Joseph Gorden Levitt.

Rating: 6/1O

Take it away Marky Mark!

Kick Ass 2 - What just happened?

[WARNING: SPOILERS!]

There were a lot of exciting movies that came out this summer and Kick Ass 2 was something I was uber excited about. Kick Ass has to be one of my all time favorite comic book movies due to the concept of a real life vigilante is fun to think about. As Kick Ass 1 was about Dave and his transformation story, Kick Ass 2 really felt more like Mindy's story with a Dave sideplot.

When I first saw it come out, it had a rating of 66%. This ended up plummeting to 23% within a few days as reviews came out bashing the movie. Even though this was not the best sequel [sequels are always a hit and miss], it still had some good moments. But you do have to sit through a lot of the bad pockets that make you want to tear your hair out.

Kick Ass had a lot of smoothing over to do. I really felt the Mindy high school girl acceptance side plot was a total distraction. Mindy [or Hit Girl] is some one I just don't see following anyone blindly to fit in. This is a girl that has murdered people on her own and home schooled on the side. So lets just toss her into society without any transition whatsoever. Great idea, pops!

I'm surprised her new father had no practical sense on how to transition her knowing her history. I doubt she had friends growing up...or social skills in general besides making smart ass remarks. And to force her to make friends...with the popular girls? WTF was he thinking?

Also WTF was this sexual awakening bull shit? You don't watch a N'Sync wannabe video and all of a sudden go boy crazy! What the crappity crap is that about? You could not think of a better intro into the high school boys thing? And what is up with these girls and that nasty talk behind closed doors? Its just down right creepy. Do girls talk like that in high school now? I never talked like that in high school.

Everything the writers did to the epically cool Mindy was instantly trashed, watered down and distanced from the Hit Girl persona. I super disliked the softer side of Mindy because her main character was to be a crime fighting cold-hearted bitch with a snarky attitude. I loved that about her in the first movie and just like her, it felt like the whole second movie had an identity crisis of what kind of message it wanted to get across.

Now lets go back to Dave...who is also trying to figure out how he fits back into society after some how miraculously getting away with being Kick Ass and killing a bunch of people, surviving torture, and watching a man immolate in front of his very eyes. Why is this boy not whimpering in his bed in the fetal position? And where was his girlfriend in this film?

She just shows up to dump him over a vague misunderstanding. That seemed like a way too convenient lead way into him banging Night Bitch every Justice Forever Pow Wow. Which was holistically pointless as they never stay together any way, leaving room open for a possible Dave and Mindy romance [which is a huge no no in my book...they are pretty far apart in age in the comics].

And WTF is up with Chris D'Amico? He just goes bat shit crazy in this movie. Kills his mom with no consequences and dons her dom gear so he can go murder it up. Then when his uncle shows him real evil, he gets EVILER. Right back at ya uncle! I can do worse and not some how land in prison! Man...Chris steps out one time with that costume and the cops would be man handling him all the way to jail. Especially New York cops....they don't get paid to take your shit. That's for sure. I'm really surprised his gang of ultimate killers did not just threaten him to give them all of his money and then beat him to death and take over. Apparently the Russian chick was paid 5O million by Chris to look like a real life street fighter character and don a cleverly racist name. Wow. In Mother Russia, America pays you!

So what about the other characters? In general a great mixture. Jim Carrey rocks it as Col Stars and Stripes. Turk from Scrubs plays a happy go lucky Dr. Gravity, a vigilante that wasn't even a doctor. lol. The playful mixture of the Justice Forever team seemed to be well-helmed by the Col which is a born again Christian that has a penchant for kindly reminding the members not to take the Lord's name in vain.

Even John Leguizamo, who plays Javier, Chris's body guard, had a decent cameo. Although he
was considerably unrealistic watching the little shit go crazy on the world.

So what bothered me about this film? It was serious when it should have been funny and funny when it should have been serious. There were some REALLY odd moments that should have not been made for laughter. Like the potential rape scene. Poor taste on their part. And the blatant disregard for all the killing they did and the implications of that. Dave's father gets murdered and some how they have time for a funeral that was also cop guarded [how did Dave afford the funeral again?]. If I were Dave's friend...I would have bailed as soon as I saw those cell phone pictures. Who wants to be a part of that? That's real life big boy stuff. Screw that. They were just supposed to be saving lives in cool costumes. Not watch people they love get killed.

I do realize this movie is naturally over the top and that is what I loved about the first movie itself. I think Kick Ass 2 definitely went far over the top of ridiculousness that it was difficult to shut my brain off completely. Did I totally hate it? No. There were some funny moments and I thoroughly enjoy every time Mindy beat some ass or got her revenge. That's the way it should be for me. But I think it was lacking polish, tempo and common sense. It basically ruined the best character of all, Hit Girl and that to me is unforgivable.

RATING: 7/1O

This is what I want to do to the people that ruined Hit Girl....

Why I think "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" will be My Movie of the Year

Watch this and tell me you don't think this will be a good movie. Seriously.

I watch a lot of trailers and I am often excited by the potential of story. It is hard to really set up expectations and so far this year I have been quite bummed with the stream of movies I have seen so far that have not met them.

What I think makes this movie so different is we have know the track record of Ben Stiller. He is actually a good director. Tropic Thunder being one of his more popular examples as well as Zoolander. And I personally...loved the shit out of Tropic Thunder. We also need to consider the implications of such a message that is being conveyed through this trailer.

And that is...have you ever wanted to run away and be some one better? Have you ever wanted to just take off and go on an adventure and find your meaning and calling?

At least that is what I got out of it and its the basic slogan for every Improve Your Business/Life Pow Wow that ever existed.  The triumph of finding the strength within yourself and believing in you through the essence of dreaming is very powerful. I view this as a message that can be deeply touching and beautiful. I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. The scene where he is running past all the "Life" magazine covers is what really got me excited. I was rooting for Walter. RUN WALTER RUN! FLY HIGH! CATCH YOUR DREAMS!

Now the original story of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is a short story crafted by James Thurber that was published in 1939 in The New Yorker. A movie version came out later in 1947 of the same name, however the story was drastically different and was not approved by Thurber himself.

After that a remake had spent much time in development hell with many actors passing in and out of the role. But I think they made a great choice with Stiller who's vision can really take this further. From the looks of it, this new movie is not going to be exactly representational of the original short either. I do hope it not only expands on Mitty's unfortunate day dreaming escapades, but also gives him more purpose and flare to what could potentially be a beautiful story of finding one's self through getting lost.

You can see it easily in the choice of style on how to dress Walt's character. Very reminiscent of a mild manner, plain man similar to Bryan Cranston's character in Breaking Bad. I noticed the colors are meant to be cold and almost black and white like his photographs he produces [in this film he is a mild-mannered photographic manager]. But the rest of the trailer uses brighter colors to signify a vibrancy of life. Even in all of this, there is a deep attention and colorization to his eyes and a gaze that believes in something greater than himself.

In the short story, Mitty had a wife that was quite controlling and seemingly worried about Walt's condition to day dream at all the wrong moments. Seeing that the movie has a love interest and a mother...I can only assume the mother will replace the role of the controlling wife. Leaving room open for him to develop a real connection with some one while discovering himself.

On top of this, "Dirty Paws" by Of Monsters and Men is the perfect pick for this trailer, giving a beautiful swathe of wonder and imagination that really embellishes the dreamy notes of this film. And unlike some trailer songs [I'm looking at you Sleigh Bells] the song is actually pretty damn enjoyable when you listen to it whole. It tends to hit a pretty emotional note for me being a person who is in transition to make my dreams a reality. Dirty Paws hits me very deep at the beauty of its simplicity and ability to take me away to another place.

If you are interested in reading the short story for The Secret Life of Walter Mitty...you can read it here: http://www.all-story.com/issues.cgi?action=show_story&story_id=100

So Ben...you have high expectations from me, my friend. While I think "The Butler" will be one of the few good movies I see this season, I'm counting on you to bring me to my emotional edge of deep and powerful story telling.

And for those of you who had no idea this movie existed I implore you to go see it this Christmas!

Pacific Rim: Killer Action, Nerdgasm Graphics, Lifeless Characters and Half-Ass Story

What can I say about this movie....

First off, the commercials were killer. I had to see this movie. It was like rock'em sock'em robots / Gundams vs Godzilla monsters / Too freaken cool not to.

Now, I wasn't expecting a huge amount of captivating story considering what the commercials presented, but that is OK. Because the one movie pet peeve I have is the commercials are misleading. As long as I get exactly what I expected, if not more, I'll accept that.

Premise:

The story is about a lost Gipsy Danger Jaeger Pilot, Raleigh Becket [Charlie Hunnam] that is still mourning the loss of his brother years ago to a kaiju battle. He is summoned to pilot again for a final mission to destroy the rift portal where the Kaiju come out of to end the war against the beasts. The year is 2O25, humanity's last hope rests in the dying Jaeger program. However he needs a second pilot to help run the revitalized Gipsy Danger Jaeger and not just anyone will do.

The Verdict?

Overall really freaken cool. I liked it. It has its issues, but the battle scenes more than make up for its short comings. And I'm really glad they spend most of the movie beating ass rather than try to bore us with their terrible story arc.

Acting: 4/1O

The acting is by far...lifeless and dull. I really didn't feel it from the actors. When the little crying Japanese girl and the two nerds make up the bulk of good acting....you got a problem. Most of the actors are fairly unknown to me, but I guess they have been in TV and various other films from what I understand. I just didn't care for their performance. It was kind of cheesy...which brings me to scripting.

Script/Story: 3/1O

The lines in this film...are dumb. The motivations often times are dumb. And I hate to say it...but they took the story one level deeper than they should have with the reasoning behind the monster attacks. They originally stated something along the lines that the monsters came out of no where and they were hunting. Something of that nature. They end up taking it one level further [I wont explain how] and gave an explanation that really made me think...NAAAAhhhhhh, that's stupid. What else do you got? Really? That's it? That's the reason you are going with? That was poorly thought out.

Every time these guys talk, they were corny as hell. They displayed very typical tough guy attitudes that was reminiscent of GI Joe. I cringed when they had a small moment to interact with each other. Which is why I was very glad they just gave up on developing the story and just kept throwing more action scenes in. This is one of the few times I was actually more excited to see things explode than witness real story evolve.

Action: 9/1O

The action was seriously the reason I went to watch this film. It was totally ****ing sick. I loved it. The only thing that frustrated me was how difficult it was to kill the Kaiju with the current Jaegers they had. It kind of got annoying after a while. They are stabbing the living shit out of these creatures and they aren't dead yet? I joust a rhinoceros with a ten foot sword and at least after 5 good stabs I'm pretty sure hes going to slow down at least a tad. That was the only thing that bugged me. I know they were high category monsters...but still. One of them at one point manages to magically grow wings...which really just baffled me. It was unexpected and not in a good way.


Some extra neat moments for me:

What I was happy most about in this movie is there was a bit more diversity than usual. Sure the main character is a white American male that is unpredictable and ****y [typical stereotype]. But I liked how the main female character is Japanese. Its rare to see a good Asian representation that isn't meant for comedy and isn't fondled as the helpless love interest. No, she kicks ass and takes names. I was pretty excited about that. And I was really excited how their "love interest" ended. It was just right and surprisingly pleasant. I was pretty satisfied how that went. What a great handshake they had. ha.


Conclusion: Not Guillermo Del Toro's best work. Pan's Labyrinth was WAAAAAAYYYY better. Characters were a bit cardboardish, story was half-ass thought out, but the action was really killer and fun to watch the robots spank giant monsters back to the hole they crawled out of. Plus the visual effects are like a nerdgasm on screen. I seriously was so excited all the way through.

P.S. There is something after the first set of credits...so don't leave so quickly.

6.5/1O

Double Downey Review: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Due Date

While I recover from my adventure out in the woods of Big Bear Mountain and man-eating bugs...I decided to write a classic double feature!

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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is about a thief masquerading as an actor [Robert Downey Jr], a detective by the name of Gay Perry [Val Kilmer] and a struggling actress [Michelle Monaghan] mixed up in a middle of a murder mystery.

The movie is quite humorous in its jarring, convoluted story telling as Harry Lockhart [our thief and hero] tries to recall the story of his wild adventure in Hollywood. The best character in this film has got to be Gay Perry, a hard ass detective that has a penchant for insulting Harry at every turn. The dark humor between the actors seems to string you along like bread crumbs far into the woods of engrossing interest. And it only continues to get weirder and more twisted as you go farther down the road.

Random side note:

What blows me away the most is Val Kilmer...still acting. But he's far from his days of flying high in the F-18 taking out "Mig-28s":

Yes Val...we did. Where did that guy go? Tom Cruise hasn't aged a second in his life, so what is your excuse? At least you were pretty damn entertaining in this movie so I forgive you.

Its not a film to watch with the kids, but its still worth watching if you like off beat films. Beautifully done with quirky dialogue, dark humor, patched well with sex, murder, and unexpected turns. Enjoy!

9/1O

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Due Date - What an odd film. This one is about a high strung, father to be, named Peter Highman [Robert Downey Jr] who is forced to hitch a ride with a wanna-be-actor named Ethan Tremblay [Zach Galifianakis] after he gets kicked off of a plane to meet his pregnant wife for the birth of his child.

The movie has its moments, but I really feel like Zach has no other characters besides stupid, fat ones. I didn't like him that much in the Hangover and he isn't that much more likable in this movie either. However that is the roles he plays. The obnoxious, but strangely lovable psychopath.

The only thing that makes him worth keeping around is the fact that he is a great actor to bounce insults off of. And there are a lot of great moments where Peter [RDJ's character] loses his shit. Even at one point spitting on Ethan's little hog-snorting, masturbating french bull dog, sunny.

There are also a few scenes I found a bit out of place, even just plain useless to the storyline. This movie is about a road trip from hell with the most ignorant, happy-go-lucky nightmare of a man. Mixed with a man with rage issues and you got one heck of a story. At times, uncomfortable to watch even.

I wouldn't say this is film of the year, but the highlighted moments make it at least tolerable to watch. I wouldn't say it would be something I would watch again in full. Perhaps in select pieces.

5/1O

Bonus Film....Robert Downey Jr and Zach Galifianakis interview moments: