Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Agent Carter - OK Marvel, You Had Your Fun. Now Back to the Looney Bin for You.

So I started watching this and HAD to review it. What is this? Woman's liberation 101? Poor female agent getting ignored and picked on by sexists pigs. This shit is so pissing me off. What a cheap shot this show started off with. Yay it's the 1940's and they look at her like a sex toy and now she has no purpose because the war is over. Give me a break.

She wouldn't BE an agent if the organization thought of her that way. I expected this more from the phone company than a government agency that intentionally hired her because she actually was valuable at the very least as a honeypot. Even the boss in this show is attempting to emasculate her at every turn. 

She was part of an operation that worked with the first super hero and a tech genius. Why give her such a significant assignment if she was that insignificant? Did they just run out of manly agents that day and it was between her, the token gay guy and the cripple? You're right. They definitely would have picked the cripple first. So they probably had no agents to cover the job of baby sitting a hunky experimental freak job and a mad scientist. The whole concept of this show would have made more sense before the war, than after the war.

Not only did it start off with shots from the movie [which I consider cheating], it winks at you so much with "girl power" moves that you think perhaps the winking is a dysfunction and you don't want to be rude and stare. It's embaressing and I really hate how women eat this up. This is so stereotypical woman vs the world I want to scream, "Please stop! We don't need this anymore! What we need is normal women in stronger roles that don't stereotype the gender itself. Either we are over powering independent or we are weak and pathetic. We just want the middle ground for God's sake!"

I swear this entire show is one giant poll job.

What show would you like to see next from Marvel?

1. Fantastic Four - Hahahaha, we thought that was funny too.
2. Black Goliath - THE TALLEST BLACK SUPER HERO EVER. AKA: Go watch the NBA.

Her bosoms are big enough to win the war!
Peggy Carter:

Her personality is incredibly flat for a main character. Peggy does not inspire me to like her or even feel sorry for her. On one hand she tells guys she doesn't need their help and tries to be independent, on the other hand she totally takes advantage of their oafish man thinking and uses her feminine wiles. Her character is very contradictory of what it wants to be and I just can not stand how they use the treating women like shit card an easy go to plot device for this show. The only funny thing she did was threaten to stab a fat pig's artery if he didn't treat the waitress better. Other than that Peggy continues to dodge help from anyone with a penis because of "reasons."

Although she is written quite the bit more clever than the boy's club [using the stairwell to cut off the bad guy, getting one step ahead in gathering information, etc.], she is constantly hiding her skills in agent work. What kind of agent hides that she is an agent from other agents in an organization that hired her to be an agent? Is it that incredible she is doing her own work on this case? What the hell did they hire her for? She isn't getting paid to be their classified secretary. She is getting paid as an agent. She has an agent badge. Use her damn it!

Its the typical English man with a heart everyone!
Mr. Edwin Jarvis: 

Probably the only real thing on this show that isn't a stereotype in itself. Although he is stereotypically English [British?]. Mr. Jarvis does remind one of the computerized Jarvis from Iron Man as far as wit, so I can see where his programmed sense of humor came from. If they get rid of him I think the show would fail as the character of Peggy can't carry it alone.

This is not a comment related to gender, she is just not that interesting of a character and I blame the people who designed her character, edited her footage and wrote her lines. Mr. Jarvis is the sensitive side of the show and probably the most reasonable. He is where the real dialogue comes through and I am happy he is there even if he is just "the help." He plays the role just perfectly and I wouldn't want him to change.

Agent Mishaps:

1. That is the Slowest Kidnapping Car Ever:

You are telling me you can't catch a woman in heels? Quadriplegics move faster than you.

Just a little to the left..shit. shit. Now I got to start over.
2. Gadgets Galore:

Not remarking this is a bad thing, but aren't gadgets on loan? Do people do spy gadget inventory at this office and go "Oh Lord! The code cracking watch is missing! Who is the scoundrel that didn't fill out Form 847B? Now I got to report this to the equipment manager who is going to chastise me for being an incompetent baffoon.

Then I got to spend three days trying to find the current version of form 2261 to report the lost/stolen item. Fill out the form and spend three more days trying to find some one to help me with this process. Then I got to strike it off the list and order a new one with another form while calling eight people to make sure this gadget is struck off their list as well in case an inspection comes in. This is too much work and I got some very important screwing off to do. I must find out who is stealing from me at once!" OK that sounds way funnier if you are military. #militarypaperworktrauma

3. Feelings? Nope:

I just don't believe her when she cried for her friend. We barely had an establishment between her and said room mate before she died. She even mentions she only knew her for a few months. Also where did she dump the body? I am assuming she called the police, but wouldn't that make her a suspect? So many unknowns. I know that scene was meant to show her sensitive side and why she is so scared to let people be a part of her life, but there was no emotional advantage with a random room mate she stayed with for a few months and was fond of. It would have been better if it was a more established friend/family member in her life.

4. Noisy Agent:

She goes over the fence like she's jumping the border and the cops are chasing after her with mopeds and dogs. Don't you have bull cutters agent? Its a lot quieter to cut a hole through than hike yourself over.

5. James Frain Has the Best Manager Ever:

I can't get away from this guy. He is in EVERYTHING on television lately. This is the third time I have seen the man in the past two weeks.

6. Blanks much?

You shot at the car coming straight at you and you shot at the car driving away in a straight line You are telling me you didn't hit the car once? The bomb did a better job damaging the car then you. What is evil paying you for?

7. Oh Yes, Let's Use the Phone:

I know its the 194Os, but wasn't wiring tapping around during that time? I just don't believe that if you can hook a transmitting device to a typewriter, that you can't tap a phone line. Stop talking about super secret shit in public AGENT.

8. They Must Have Cable:
He is writing the beginning of Mein Kampf

So there are these typewriter scenes where the evil assassin is getting messages from his leader. These have to be the fastest transmissions I have ever seen. Besides it being absolutely ridiculous as an invention, you are telling me they also receive messages at lightening speeds? Do they have Google fiber? Because I am so ready for some Google fiber. I bet that line cost like 5 cents at that time and that was a bad ass deal.

9. What a Waste of Lobster:

Did radio shows really do this back in the day? Crush lobsters for sound effects? Lobster isn't cheap now, I doubt it was even close to cheap then. They mangled that poor thing! It needs some butter and lemon. Stop destroying it already you hack!

1O. I Don't Like the Parallels between Tony and his Father:

What was cute and hysterical in the Iron Man movies, kind of makes me feel odd in this pre-Tony existence. I understand the need to go "Ha! He is just like his father!" But Tony barely knew his father. He wouldn't have picked up many of his mannerisms from him in this case. I would have liked Howard to be adventurous, but more serious than Tony was. Tony grew up in wealth, his father did not. He created the empire that Tony was fortunate to live in. It would make more sense for Tony to be selfish, conceited and make everything a debacle. His father lived in a world where things were much more restricted, so I would think he would be more domineering, industrial and frank. Plus it still just irks me they used two different actors for his father.

Where in the world did Carmen get her wardrobe?
11. That Hat and Attire...:

MAKES HER LOOK SO MUCH LIKE CARMEN SAN DIEGO! I know the design was to make it easier to see her in a crowd and it was to make the audience give her the feeling that she was out of place, but why make it so blaringly obvious? It looked like they forgot the blue hat that day and suddenly decided, "RED! Red is the color of vibrancy and sexy holiness! RED! DO IT NOW!"

12. Suspects:

If Howard Stark was in trouble, wouldn't his butler be a good resource and suspect in aiding him? Why wouldn't they go to Mr. Jarvis first? It took them 3 episodes before they got to him. Plus I feel its a cop out that we no longer see Howard in the show. You draw us in with Howard Stark and you just remove him? Lame. Also What about his partner? Remember THAT guy? From the first Ironman movie? Shouldn't he also be a part of this as well?  There are so many questions of why this world is so limited when we know it is connected to the MCU. Not only is this lazy, but its just plain boring.

I feel Marvel can do better and they have done better. Do we need another Agent show? No. That is only a positive step if it serves a specific purpose for the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The point here is, they could easily summarize this if they wanted to and they don't need to dump cash into this to make the MCU great. I feel like Marvel is unraveling a bit with all the possibilities and is starting to get sloppy.

Yup folks, this is the beginning of the end of the great comic era as I stated in my previous rant for, "What's Wrong with Hollywood". The storytelling, no matter how collected or spread out, needs to be tight in order to be effective. I think it is unfair to fans that they just dump this hack show onto us  females that deserve a real female super hero that can do super hero shit. Black Widow barely stacks up against the Hulk and Ironman. Agent Carter can't compete with Captain America if he decided to turn evil. What about against Dr. Strange? You see what I mean? Where are our female super heroes that can go toe to toe with Ronin or Loki or Apocalypse? Look out soon for the next part in my series. "What is Wrong with Hollywood" to get an in-depth discussion on gender and race in the comic movie world. Because I got a whole lot of ammo and steam to blow off about this issue that I will spare you from any further today.

You know why female lead shows don't always work? Because everyone keeps stereotyping them in hopes people would just accept it. And they do. This show has a high rating for now, but I am not impressed if this is the best they can give me. This show is cheap and we know it. I want more from you Marvel. I expect it. Not this. This is too weak. This is putting your pinky into the pool when you need to dive all the way in like you did with Guardians of the Galaxy. Its time you give your female fans a real hero to follow that goes beyond just mortal means and isn't constantly trying to fight sexual harassment at the office. One that even guys can get behind as well. A real person. Not a stereotype.

It is the least you can do for as much money as you have made off of us women. Remember, there are a lot of us out there and we are no longer necessarily a small minority you can continue to ignore. Bring us something we can get behind and stop playing the victim card as your go to plot. Don't make her a character that thrives despite the fact that she is a woman, give us a character that thrives because she is a woman.

What did you think of Agent Carter? Damn awesome or Dud?

If you are interested in keeping up with my reviews subscribe on the side bar now!

DnD Rating: 4/1O


  1. Yeah, I have to admit: when Agent Carter was first announced, my thought was, "...why? Is this necessary?" Marvel needs a firm "Stop it, B". In other words, they need to calm down. I wasn't remotely interested in this show, and reading what you had to say about it cements my decision being a good one.
    That's one of the many things I love about The Legend of Korra: the title character is a strong female lead, with middle ground attributes. She is very much human, while being superhuman in other ways. She embodies a nice balance. If the creators of Korra/Avatar wrote Agent Carter, it would be awesome.

    1. Thanks for reading, its just the worst. I heard that there was a short film for Agent Carter that did really well and was decent. That is probably how they green lit the show. I don't think we care enough about this secondary character to warrant an entire show. I heard good things about The Legend of Korra. Good for them for showing a new generation of women that there are other ways of being besides waiting for a prince to save you. I think our generation was the last to grow up with that mentality.

  2. At Free Bitcoin you may claim free satoshis. Up to 22 satoshis every 5 minutes.